We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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