Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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