You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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