Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
