I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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