My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
