He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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