i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dear god my vagina.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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