I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
