I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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