you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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