He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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