her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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