just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
