Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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