so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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