i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
