Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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