Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
