You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
