He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
