Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
