so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
