I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
