What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We need to rekindle our bromance
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
