If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
