My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
