I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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