I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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