is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
