You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
