Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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