Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
