she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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