Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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