K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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