the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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