So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Church boner. Awkwardddd
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"