I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
