The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
