im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
