Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This is my gift to your gina
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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