Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
