Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
