do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
