Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
