the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
