please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
