Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
