You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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