I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
