You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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