They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize