Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Randomize
