come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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