He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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