mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
This baby is an asshole
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
