ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So vagazzling was a success
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize