two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
3 2 1 whiskey
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
