Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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