If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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