the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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