wake up i wanna do it froggy style
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
